Working in the winter wonderland.

Working in the winter wonderland.

Ohh.. 

How I miss, the past few years.

Where I worked in the heart of the country. 

The Christmas excitement that they never failed to bring,

to the weary bones of the working peeps.

The festive lights put up,

along the streets and around the towers.

Glistening up the raindrops,

as they began to shower.

Strolling down the streets were the couples,

with glow in their faces and posh looking clothes to match.

Gifts bags on one hand and the other all proper and wrapped,

sometimes I wonder just how much do they fetch?

Ahh..

The music not to be missed,

that were always on loop until you're pissed.

Stores to stores you will always hear,

the Yuletide songs singing "Hey hello! Christmas is here!".

Mouth watering scent filled up the air,
made you guessing which chef made that!
Toasted! Roast! And maybe some cheese.
My! You know you are so hard to please!

Merry cheers and season greetings,
laughter, joy and people wishing.
Presents exchanged from hand to hand,
it seems like the gatherings never seem to end!

Hmm..
What we were left was the snow,
but it doesn't matter as we have things that glow.
Everything was perfect and grand,
it made me I feel I am truly in winter wonderland 

Ohh how I wonder when will it be,
to have the chance given back to me.
Dawn on my gay apparels I will be,
in my office working with glee.

Though now I am working in a nursery,
hey, it's not that bad, we have live trees!
But somehow I wish , I wish, I wish,
to be back in that winter wonderland I miss.

Yes, to be back in the place I miss,
to be working again in the winter wonderland I wish. 

One last wish

I think things have been going great for me so far.

I didn't spend too much time on job search, it could have been quicker if I didn't go for my overseas trip but no regrets.

Somehow I think my wishes had been answered time and time again, although not all wish but most of them. Just the other day I just managed to complete this wish of mine; well half managed to complete. Well have to see how it turns out this Sunday. It's just so coincidental that just a few weeks back I was planning to somehow make this wish come true and then this opportunity came up!

I mean there have been so incident which my wish nearly came true but never as close as this time.

And that leads me to secretly wonder if I really have this mystery godmother or father somewhere, who reads my mind and tries to give me what I want as long as it's not overboard. I had this thought since a long way back.

It's just that most of my prayers had been answered and it just make me suspicious, although not instantly but it didn't take much time for the wishes to be realised.

Partially, I think, I have to credit myself for all the wish come true cause even if I was given the opportunities, without hard work I wouldn't be success.

Likewise, if it wasn't for the opportunities, there's any chance for me to display my skills.

But if there really is a godparent or mystery wisher granter (A handsome guy I hope), then I wish they had fulfil the biggest wish of mine.

..

Just that one wish and I am satisfied.

It's that one wish that I have always wish upon over and over again but never came true.

It's that only wish that I can not substitute with any other things.


And..


It's that one wish that supersede any other wish that would truly make me happy.

And
...

I just really want to be happy. Never mind other things.

Just that one wish.

.

And it's last than a month before the year ends. I still haven't get my greatest wish and it's been a year since I first made it.

I guess I will have to remake this wish again this Christmas or New Year.

But..

But...


But...


Really.

Can't you just give it to me?

Make it more obvious? You know how clueless I can be at times.

I will treasure it, I promise.

Please?

.

..
..
..


....


Just this wish of mine.

..
...
..

.

..

I wish ...  I wish ....... with all my might.

Sometimes.. it's just fate

Erm..

How should I start this?

I'm quite shy to talk about this, but I really want to pen this down somewhere paper or none . It may become a ... I don't know.. sweet memory I guess? A very teenage child like idiocy memory.

Hahha.

So... yeah.

Haha

Oh man. Don't know where to start.

So what have I been doing now?

I don't know...

...

....
....

..

maybe.. erm.. eyeball chasing a guy I think is hot.

Heheh.


..


Or because him wearing a Sunglasses was kind of hot. That's the effect sunglasses have.

....

So..

It all started on a Friday where I managed to get off work super early because my manager wasn't in and I was lucky to catch the earlier bus.  Everything was fine, I was happy, feeling all lucky cause I got off work on the dot and that's one of the best miracle that can happen to any employee.

It was when I boarded this bus that I saw a guy wearing Sunglasses and it just... bang! Hit me.

..

Like, you know..

the unwillingness to avert your eyes

the sudden heart pounding

the "I think his kind of cute"

kind of feeling. And then I just started to feel shy around him, not daring to look him in the eyes, even though I can't see his eyes anyway.

..
At that point, I don't understand myself.

I mean I am no longer a thirteen or fifteen years old girl but I still get this kind of feelings.

I don't even understand why! I'm a grown up!

I shrugged it off since I know it would be the one time eye candy thing and with the thought that
I am just not feeling myself today.

The bus drove on.

I alighted first, went home and changed before heading for my music lesson without giving him a second glance.

It was then I saw him again, on the bus which I was to board on to way to my music school.
I sort of froze.


..


I couldn't believe my eyes. Could this be a sign?

I was stunned and taken aback that I nearly trip in front of him.

I think he sort of looked at me, watched how I found my balance. Maybe even thinking :" what the hell is this girl doing".

Embarrassed, since everyone on the bus was looking at me, including him, I pretended nothing happened.

I alighted before him once again.

..


After that I hop on every chance I could to get off work early so I can catch the earlier bus just to see him again which I never did. It was the belief that since we managed to see each other twice on the same day,(just when I was thinking of him). maybe like how I wanted to see him, he too, secretly hoping as well.

And perhaps we kind of have fate?

...

But, my first guess was right.

It was an one off thing. So I stopped hoping and my days were back to normal.

Woke up at the same timing, get off work the same timing. Eat the same lunch, wear the same thing.

..

Then fate just likes to play tricks on you.

..

After a week or so, I saw him again.

This time, on the bus ride en route to work. And it was also coincidentally that I stepped out of my house earlier than usual and caught the earlier bus.


It was then I realised that he had this shift work going on therefore he rides the bus on a varying
timing and his working hours change weekly.


But you know, after so much that you have tried. You just don't give a damn before.

So when I saw him again, I was happy seeing a familiar face.

However, unlike before, I don't harbour hopes anymore.

I know that sooner or later I won't be seeing him again.

His work shift will change and then it's on our separate ways again.

So throughout the whole week I didn't deliberately pay him any attention nor did I deliberately leave my home earlier to catch the earlier bus. But I always see him. The day after and the day next.

Although I think I did see him grinned widely when his eyes glanced across mine, as the bus pulled into the bus stop on that day when we saw each other again.

AND I am NOT self-obsessed.

I admit I don't find myself ugly but I AM NOT SELF-OBSESSED.

So it wasn't made up.

..

So basically I saw him almost everyday... except for that Thursday where I missed my bus by a 200m walk. I didn't run for it. Like I said, I don't care that much already. So I didn't manage to see him that day.

But on the next day, standing far from the bus stop  I saw him, peering and moving his head around trying to look for something as the bus drove nearer. I don't know what he was trying to look for but clearly he didn't find what he was looking and well you can see the disappointed look.

..

I was the last to board the bus and when I first stepped onto it,  I could see/feel him staring at me. And I am very sure because he was just directly in front of me. I didn't look him in the eyes, I just can't but with that close proximity I know he was staring.
..

My heart leaped... a little.
..

Then I started to wonder..

Perhaps..., I can take it that he was looking for me?

..

Was he trying to find my shadows in midst of the crowd when the bus first drove into the bay.

..

...

I really don't know.

I was a bit scared.

I don't dare to hope anymore. Look how I suffered when I got my pins up high and then to be shattered.

..

I did what I always did. Act normal,  I alighted before he did on the bus stop near my workplace, no words exchanged.

But I can see, clearly that he was looking when I walked down from the bus. Our eyes met but I tear away before he could stare on.

..

So that's it.

..

That's how it is.

"Next week, we wouldn't be seeing each other again. He will be on another shift, another timing."

Was what I thought on that Friday morning when I last saw him.

But perhaps you know.. just to play safe, miracle could happen again. Like it did.

..

I put on my better looking clothes, cut my hair and wore a little makeup on the following week's Monday morning hoping, yes .. hoping.. just a little that he might notice me when the bus drove in the bay once more.

But I try to be safe, just in case. Not wanting to put too  much effort in, I am not too dressed up, not too much make up and not too excited.

I left home just 5 minutes earlier.

...


Waited at the same bus stop.


...

Looking out for the same bus.


..


With my ear piece stuck in.

..

I stared into the direction where the bus usually drives in from...

..


And then,

I saw it.


...

My bus.


..

As it pulls in once more into the bay, I searched. Staring at the spot where he usually sits.


..

...


...

...


...

..

...
.

He wasn't there.

Rat Race

This is ridiculous!

It just don't make sense!

And what am I ranting about? The society, culture,  perception and money.

I just started my first full time job a month ago and I am already not enjoying this. Not because I have bad colleagues and lots of work load... well at least not yet. But because I'm already starting to hate this lifestyle.

Firstly, I am not a morning person. Seriously.

It's been three years since I last woke up at 6:30 am after graduating from junior college. I guess I am in a better environment now since I get to wake up 45 mins later than usual but still.. not a morning person.

Secondly, my weekends are taken away from me. I have to work alternate Saturday full day. One day of rest in a week is insufficient and I can feel the strain on my body already.

Lastly but most importantly,

I DON'T WANT TO LIVE A LIFE TO LOOK FORWARD TO EVERY END OF THE MONTH

Why end of the month?

That's when the pay comes in. -.-

The pay isn't that .... ooh my, now I sound like an old women who had been in this word for infinity years and is whining like everybody owns me.

Well, it just doesn't make sense to me. Having gone through 18 years of education to earn a miserable pay!

Bits and Pieces from overseas trip

So I went for a really long trip with my friends and what did I learnt from it?

Plenty.

I have so many things I want to leash it out especially during the trip but just couldn't as I don't want to sour the relationship. In fact, based on my observation, it is not even advisable to say out my view.

As a aspiring traveller, I have read countless of blogs about travels and their recount of things happening and this trip just reminded me of one particular post.

In that particular post, the blogger talked about the different types of travellers and his experience there when he was travelling around the autonomous regions of China and towards the Nepal side .

Apparently at one part of the leg, some incident happened with the tour guide and his clique had to come into the decision whether to proceed to their planned destination using other means or hop on to the next available train back to China, Beijing.

He and his friends were more keen to go forward with their original plans but the other team mates have their own contrasting plans. The blogger then decided they should disseminate the group and head to their own location since they couldn't arrive on an agreeable conclusion. One particular team mate was very against the idea. She wanted to head back to China which was fine but she doesn't want to team to break up. I kind of understand the reason behind it yet at the same time I think it is selfish of her.

She was insecure.

By breaking up the group it means that they are now travelling in smaller size. In a backward region whereby you have language barrier and inaccessible transport, a large group stands to gain a better advantage on having each other to depend on.

I guess she wasn't confident or independent enough which was strange because travellers who usually travel to this kind of regions were mostly self-reliant.

And then she went on to psycho other team mates into staying together and how the blogger was selfish into wanting to travel separately (subtlety). Then the other team mates were like giving the blogger the disapproval look but he remained firm in his stand. He managed to reason out why he wants to go individually during small breaks and interactions and somehow some of the team mates understood.

In the end, all of them went on their own way. Even the person whom stood by the opposing mate's on her view on sticking together, went on his own way.

And that was what happened to me, contrasting view, likes, personality and pressure from the team except on a smaller scale and less serious.

Unlike the blogger, I wasn't the winner. I didn't get to do everything in my way.

From my decipher, the blogger was the type that has this way of thinking that since he was already there, he wants to get the most experience and head on to where he was supposed to go/planned even in the expense of souring friendship or cause displeasure. He will still go on ahead, on his own. 

My one month plus in Korea and Japan didn't go as what I had in mind but it wasn't that bad either.

We were a group of three, going there for a short exchange and had decided to do some sight seeing after school.

Apparently, the places that I wanted to go had already been visited by my friends countless time and one of them didn't really want to go back there which I can completely understand. What for waste time going to places you have already been?

And some of the places that they wanted to go wasn't really of an interest to me, like Cafes but I still went with them. Once or twice was good enough but we went to around eight.

Like how did we managed to do that?

Initially ,  I didn't want it to hurt our relationship by saying that I don't want to join them but after I had enough and clearly this wasn't how I want to spend my holidays.

Not that they didn't accompany to the places I wanted to visit but they just unconsciously gave a displeased expression, like it was a chore. Of course they didn't say that but it was just.... all written on their faces.

It was supposed to be a joyous trip for all of us and I really don't like forcing people to go to places that they don't enjoy.

And like the example, one of our friend isn't that keen on separating. Which was understandable. Her reason was, since we come in a group, we should have fun as a group and if each of us go to our own separate ways, What is the meaning of this trip.

Nonetheless, I still suggested going on separate ways but not for an entire period, maybe one/two days and that's where things got a bit complicated. As we also have other common places that we want to go, it is hard to figure out the timing when I join in when we stick. And here's another problem, personality and style.

I am a planner. I like having to arrange and schedule my trips in advance and calculate things like the time taken to travel to the price. Therefore, once I am there, I don't stress too much on the hows. My friend on the other hand likes to take it easy. Or so the public like the categorize these people as. She likes to plan on the point of arrival.

That's when I think we lost a lot of precious time. Because we didn't do prior research, we kept going to the same area to visit a different place at different day whereby we could have planned and arranged to visit all of them at once in one day.

And well, they were complaining that time isn't insufficient.

I wonder why...

We learnt our lessons in Japan, for not planning. When we were travelling form Maihama (Disneysea) to Asakusa. I have countlessly request them that we should do research and they just .. well you know. And I had warned that Japanese are not really keen on the idea of speaking English, they tend to avoid if you do. Until we reached Japan, where I had to read and communicate in Japanese with the train station master that we were able to reach our hostel in Asakusa.

They tried to help by asking the locals but the Japanese just shrugged off giving blank looks when my friends asked in English. I did my research, and well, it wasn't really that reliable. My Japanese wasn't that fantastic either, I only took 27 lessons. What do you expect from me?

I should have insisted we do planning before we fly which we didn't, because well again, I don't want to spoil the relationship.

I guess the moral of the story is that you have to really pick your travelling mates when you are going to certain places. Like the blogger had warned about, because you may end up in an unhappy trip. The reason being , we are all very different person with different preferences and personality.\

My intention of writing this post was to just to unleash what I had bottled down. I need some place to let it go.

And I hope, I don't repeat history again.

I will still go with them,just maybe take a few precautions and well depending on places too.

First Job, First accomplishment?

I just landed myself a job, in fact I had already started my first day.

Now how do I describe this feeling. Sense of Pride? Achievement? A Winner more like it.

Honestly, I graduated in May if I count from my last paper and I nearly landed a job. At least, I think I nearly did. But I was going for overseas exchange so I couldn't commit and had to do odd jobs in order to save up for my graduation trip which last about one month and 9 days. I had a blast even though it was quite a pity that I couldn't work right after I graduate because it would had been really something should a fresh graduate landed a job right before her last paper. I know there were many that had a job offer even before way before their last semester starts but still it is quite something.

I was quite down and worried I couldn't get a job after I came back from my overseas exchange trip because by then all the good jobs would had been taken up by my peers who didn't go overseas. They can start immediately.

My Mom was another damper. She told me how long my Dad took to eventually managed to get a suitable job with reasonable pay and good environment. And the period he took was eight months!

The thought of me unemployed, leeching of my parents for nearly a year just devastate me.

I want to be independent and able to be relied on.

Therefore, I would Definitely!

Definitely!
Definitely!
Definitely!
Definitely!!
Definitely!
Definitely!
Definitely!


NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTT

Allow this scenario to happen!

After I flew back home, my friend who came back one week earlier, gotten a job. At a prestige company. Well, that's her since she's been an intern for two branded companies and is really suitable for this high end stuff.

And she is starting work the day after our Convocation.

I was super depressed. I got pressurized. And I start to look back at my previous interviews and I started to think, the first to land a job should had been me if I hadn't go to Korea.

At the back of my head I know that she had sent out applications earlier than me since she's back in the country one week earlier and that she is considered quick to land a job.

But I just can't control my mind.

Shortly after she started work, during the week of convocation I also received many interviews call and went from one firm to another.

Somehow I think god.. yesh God, I not a faithful devotee or something but I think god/ancestor/whoever it is , answered my prayer.

Just one week after convocation/friend started work, I received an offer.

HHHOOORRAYY!

And out of the four of us and also friends from outside clique, I'm the second fastest. Which is not too bad. I'm quick too.

Hence, I say I feel like a Winner. I still managed to get a job even though I went for overseas trip and the company that I am currently working for is quite reputable too. Well, at least locally. Not a small company at all.

For now I feel belonged to the company and I really really hope that I wouldn't end up like my cousin, who left within a month.

And that I would stay put until 1/2 years at least and then judge whether to stay on or leave. Probably stay.

Another reason why I say I'm a winner is because I felt like I had accomplish a really impossible task, I landed a job within my field of study without going into sales. Because often companies like to merge marketing and sales. So this time, no sales.

Plus , it has always been a worry whether if I can graduate successfully and anyone will employ me.

Next reason would be, with the monetary power that I have now, I can fulfill my other dreams like traveling overseas next year or continue my language courses.

I can do so much more. Even though I had only started work but I felt like I am on my way there, nono , half way there.

No words can describe my excitement. And I really hope things will go well for me.

So maybe I can fulfill my dream of going back to Korea annually?

Starting from next year?

:D

没有去

结果完全没有实现。

本来约好的结果被放鸽子了。

其实我早就知道她不感兴趣。因为当我在调查旅游配套时，三番四次地询问她的意见。可是她总是很平淡的回复几句后者只说哪儿些地方她不喜欢。而且每一次的表情都很敷衍，疲倦不感兴趣，看不到一点的兴奋。

感应得到她的态度，有问过她 “是不是不想去了？其实你不去也行。我本来就不包着期望。”。

她的回答都是 “没有，想去”。

半信半疑的， 我告诉她，此刻告诉我你不感兴趣的话我也没什么，别让我有希望，做了那么多功课才给我失望。

后来在旅游展览我们讨论了，发现我们的兴趣不同，就是对我们所认为是共同喜爱的地方她没想我这样热情。

到了最后，我忍不住了，告诉她 ：“别勉强，不想去就不去。 免得报了名付了钱才来恢，然后去到那儿整日愁眉苦脸”。 她还是坚持要去。

给了她一天的时间考虑。不过心里已经有数这一次一定去不成，因为我太了解她了。

后来的隔天凌成，发了一个很长的简讯给我向我道歉希望别伤感情，知道我现在一定很愤怒。

我无语，只能告诉她我早就料到所以不气。其实一肚子的火。不过算了，毕竟有近八年的交情。

这事已经过了很久，不过每每想回都有一点气。

唉~

以后旅行因该没有她了吧。。。 我哪敢。

Response to : http://tomefrommoi.blogspot.sg/2014/01/china-trip.html

China Trip

Hi Me at June 2014,

If you haven't forgotten, we had an agreement with Aw to go on the China tour trip! Did you managed to realise the plan, or was it just another letdown? If I weren't wrong, Hui was supposed to go with us but I don't think she went did she?

Did we managed to go to Henan or Yunnan or any rural area that we planned to? It would be nice if we did. Imagine strolling down the ancient city of Eastern Han Dynasty 洛阳 and 开封 while immersing yourself into the rich ancient culture and ambiance?

And did we manage to go within our budget?

Must be thrilling.

Ahhh!

So looking forward

January 2014
Me