Hi Me,
Right now I'm really nervous on my ATCL exam. I have been practising 2 hours almost everyday to correct my mistakes and somehow to no avail. I really don't know if I will make it for my exam. I know I definitely don't stand a chance on getting distinction.
Last Sunday, I went to borrow the studio and when I play, I know that I don't think I can make it.
I sounded bad.
Real bad.
Even my sister thinks so too. She said my mistakes were amplified.
Ever since then I started working on my notes, making my ornaments more articulated, tempo correct and the sound.
I have never been so anxious and hard-working for a piano examination before. I guess this is the difference between LCM and Trinity. Furthermore, a diploma.
Been having late night sleeps partly because of this anxiety and also injured myself when practising one of the pieces.
Only my Chopin sounded okay.
And it didn't helped when I came across this forum whereby one of the teachers mentioned that only 40-50% of the students passed.
I don't know how would I turned out. I also don't know if registering me into the examinations means that I can sort of pass? However, I do know that there are many students of better standards than me, and I remembered him briefly mentioning that I may just be able to pass.
May.
Indefinite.
Omg. Seriously. I would be severely heartbroken if I don't make it, not because of the money but because of my confidence shattered.
Sometimes I wondered why did I bring this upon myself. I could have quitted music and let go of all my students.
Yet, when I always find myself way back into music when I promised myself not too long ago that I would stop.
Somehow I got a feeling that I'm going to be dropped after I have been through the exams... i just feel that I am not fulfilling some expectations. And I know I have no one but myself to blame.
I really want to perform well.
..
..
Let me know if I managed to pass.. in well, two weeks after the exam is done.
From,
Me
9/12/15
5:42pm
P.S I really want to go home right now to practice.
