ATCL Exam Result

Hi Me,

Right now I'm really nervous on my ATCL exam. I have been practising 2 hours almost everyday to correct my mistakes and somehow to no avail. I really don't know if I will make it for my exam. I know I definitely don't stand a chance on getting distinction.

Last Sunday, I went to borrow the studio and when I play, I know that I don't think I can make it.

I sounded bad.

Real bad.

Even my sister thinks so too. She said my mistakes were amplified.

Ever since then I started working on my notes, making my ornaments more articulated, tempo correct and the sound.

I have never been so anxious and hard-working for a piano examination before. I guess this is the difference between LCM and Trinity. Furthermore, a diploma.

Been having late night sleeps partly because of this anxiety and also injured myself when practising one of the pieces.

Only my Chopin sounded okay.

And it didn't helped when I came across this forum whereby one of the teachers mentioned that only 40-50% of the students passed.

I don't know how would I turned out. I also don't know if registering me into the examinations means that I can sort of pass? However, I do know that there are many students of better standards than me, and I remembered him briefly mentioning that I may just be able to pass.

May.

Indefinite.

Omg. Seriously. I would be severely heartbroken if I don't make it, not because of the money but because of my confidence shattered.

Sometimes I wondered why did I bring this upon myself. I could have quitted music and let go of all  my students.

Yet, when I always find myself way back into music when I promised myself not too long ago that I would stop.

Somehow I got a feeling that I'm going to be dropped after I have been through the exams... i just feel that I am not fulfilling some expectations. And I know I have no one but myself to blame.

I really want to perform well.

..
..

Let me know if I managed to pass.. in well, two weeks after the exam is done.

From,
Me
9/12/15
5:42pm
P.S I really want to go home right now to practice.